People have been fingering my box again and I’m not at all happy. The other day after poking around in my box for 5 minutes, Mr Smith from next door left it wide open. Why anything could have found it’s way inside and I’m fed up with finding strange objects crammed inside my box region. Possums, birds, assorted woodland creatures and Mr Jameson from two doors down, they’ve all been inside my box at some time or another. Seriously folks, can’t a woman just have her box out and not have people playing in it? Anyway, let’s see what treats we have inside my musical box this week.
This first album comes from the very sinister duo, Henry and Hazel. Here the gruesome twosome, sing brazenly and unashamedly about their dastardly deed of hunting, skinning and then finally donning the flesh of their male victims as some sort of hideous masking ritual, hence the title ‘Looking Through His Eyes.’ Just look at the titles of some of these songs.
‘Looking Through His eyes’
‘You Can experience’ (The true agony of death)
‘What am I doing In This Place?’ (Called Hell)
‘The Blood Will Never Lose It’s Power’ (That’s the beauty of semi-‘skinned’)
Er…apologies. The Slaughter’s lawyers have informed me that they were in fact, singing about looking through the eyes of their beloved Saviour and seeing the world as he views it. It has also been pointed out to me that Slaughter, is indeed their surname and not a verb for any criminal wrong-doings that may, or may not have occured. Again, my apologies. I always get Mormons and mass murderers mixed up.
And now with that confusion firmly out of the way, we have yet another call and response album. Here are the ‘Faith Tones’ putting in a request to the good Lord.
And here we have God’s representative on Earth, the Rapping Reverend Dr.C. Dexter Wise III, declining that request.
Moving on, the next album in my collection is…
Good grief Mrs Mills, must we go through this every time I do an album review? Please kindly refer to the Cease and Desist notices that my lawyers have sent you. I do NOT want to go to any off your parties. Now let that be the end of the matter. And that thing you’re doing with the Penguins? Slightly disturbing. Stop it!
As I was saying, the next album comes from…
What the bloody hell is that?! KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!
OH MY LORD! THERE’S ANOTHER ONE!!
Okay, just let me take a few moments to compose myself before we move on to the next album, which is by…
Mrs Mills, this is no longer amusing. Please refrain from showing me phallic shaped balloons and party hats in the hopes that I will be enticed to one of your many parties. I shan’t. What? They’re not balloons? But what else could you have used that is made of latex and easy to blow up? MRS MILLS!!
Now in the olden days of Troglodytes and the geologic period of the Jurassic era, Saveta Jovanovic would have been considered an attractive woman. Nowadays, Saveta is mainly known for her charitable works and last winter, Ms Jovanovic paid a visit to many of the poorer regions in Yugoslavia in order to donate several blankets, coats, sweaters, and thermal underwear that she had personally knitted from the shavings of her leg hair. The Balaclavas made from her lady garden tresses, haven’t fared so well . But no matter. Kudos to you Ms Jovanovich. Without women like you, the world would be a much colder, albeit less itchier and scratchier place.
Lastly, we have the wonderful and iconic…
Right, that’s it. I’m done!
So join me next month…
No, not you Mrs Mills, when the masses get to ogle the inside of my box once again.