The Fast And The Flurrious

It is here, the moment that we have all been dreading.
The icy blast of a great storm beckons, waiting to drown us  in it’s deluge of atmospheric vapours of crystallised ice, whilst threatening to usher along with it a sense of complete and utter lack of hope.
It’s foreboding presence will be a testimony to the majestic and triumphant courage of those prepared to face an age old enemy. An enemy that will freeze the marrow in their  bones and instil a bitter air of frigidity into their very hearts.
For throughout history, we Southerners have often been regarded as being a little on the whimsical side. All to often we have been mocked for our ‘soft’ ways, like the manner in which we refer to dinner  as ‘tea’ and tea as a ‘cuppa,’ or bemoan the fact that the cost of a pint in London will quite literally cost you an arm and a leg. (selling your kidneys on the black market will get you two pints and a packet of pork scratchings)
But during this, our winter of discontent which we have subtlety called SNOWMAGEDDON, we Southerners have shown true grit…unlike our streets and roads which are barely covered in the stuff. In this blustery month of mayhem and chaos, no more shall we be a laughing stock, for our spirit and resilience will see us through to the darkest of days.

Look how the heavens up above have opened up the gateway for the mighty torrent that now lines our streets.

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See how it’s devastation has griped the nation in it’s mighty fist, shaking it violently like the large yet rather supple buttocks of a woman perfecting the dark and ancient art of twerking, as life as we know it, comes to a complete standstill.

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In some parts of the South East, whole areas have been buried under 10cm of snow which has incapacitated entire towns and lain waste to whole cities.

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And as traffic grinds to halt and chaos ensues, we will not let this Snownami defeat us.

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We will remain calm and stoic in the face of such adversity…

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…and not let the blinding whiteness of this snowstorm overwhelm us.

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For we are strong. Fearless. Together we  will stick two fingers up at the cruelness of Mother Nature and give a middle finger to the harshness of this calamitous storm by the erections of snowmen everywhere by erecting snowmen everywhere.

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We will not falter, nor will we fall…aside from on those parts of the pavement which have yet to be gritted. For we are survivors!

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SNOWMAGEDDON be dammed, for we WILL live to see the dawning of a new world and work hard to rebuild the wreckage that you have so wrought against us!!

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~Lily

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41 thoughts on “The Fast And The Flurrious

    • Priority shopping is crucial at a time like this. As long as everyone has all the essentials, bread, butter, milk, prosecco, eggs and those Ferrero Rocher that come in the shape of a pyramid, then we can weather the storm.

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  1. Lily, you are such a whimsical Southerner LOL!! I love that because here in the US, those of us in the Northern states like to tease the Southerners about being wimps when it comes to snow, running out en masse to stock up on bread and buy shovels at the first sign of a snowflake! Oh I can see from the pics how bad your snowmageddon is…”what is this shit here?” LMAO!! Love those images too, priceless. Stay strong and fearless there, you are survivor!! 🙂

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    • It’s the same here Madilyn. Those up north like to tease us Southerners because we even dare to wear a coat during the winter months. Little do they know that that one snowflake that falls yearly, causes destruction beyond belief! But do we panic? Er…maybe slightly. Are we prone to extreme exaggerations? Um..err…erm…ah…moving on…

      Those wonderful pictures are what inspired this post. If there’s one thing we Brits know how to do well, it’s to take the right royal piss out of ourselves. And yes, I will stay strong and fearless, for armed only with a bucket of lukewarm water, I shall defeat the Snowmageddon that lies in wait outside my door. Wish me luck. 😀

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      • “Take the right royal piss out of ourselves” LOL! You Brits do that so well and I Love it!! (Also, I am partial to the Brits, it’s part of my ancestry on my father’s side and I love all the expressions). Good luck and stay strong, Lily, snowflakes can be dangerous! 😉

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        • Ah, I remembered that you are an honorary Brit by your birthright. That might explain why you so easily get my incredibly silly sense of humour.
          Staying strong. Managed to dodge the snowflake this morning. It almost got me, but with courage and daring, I escaped the white menace. 😉

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  2. Due to all the snow we had (?) PIL suggested I leave that night for work in the morning. She kindly loaded 2 duvets, a sleeping bag, 2 pillows wrapped in a Craghopper fleece (so I could wear the fleece if it got REALLY bad), 2 curries, a lasagne, shepherds pie, a walnut and coffee cake, a packet of milk chocolate Hob Nobs, a box of Sainsburys apple pies, 8 bottles of water, numerous packets of chicken and leek cupasoups, a flask of hot water, a jar of coffee, 25 tea bags, a pint of semi skimmed milk, a box of belvita breakfast bars and then she started calling me ‘Scott’!

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    • The really funny part is seeing how we handle such weather. Seriously, the country was put on yellow alert for severe weather warnings! Someone yelled “SNOWFLAKE” and the whole street was evacuated to a safe zone!

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  3. You described winter in our state to a T. (Tea? Cuppa, anyone…?) A fearsome winter storm was forecast for the Southeast a couple weekends ago, and like you said, schools and businesses closed early, meetings were canceled, yadda, yadda. The grocery store shelves looked a mad horde of looters had emptied them. Then we got a little bitty dusting of snow, and some ice. Whoop-de-doo. The following weekend, it was seventy-five degrees. Such is life in Georgia. (And evidently, in London, too!)

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    • Susan, we are such wimps. A few years back, the entire rail network was shut down because there were leaves on the track! It was unseasonably warm all last year, so predictions of Snowmageddon took everyone by surprise…and thus the panic begun. I swear there was more ice in my refrigerator than there was on the ground. It’s funny how the South and North in both the US and UK react to the same situation.

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  4. Every survivor has their story to tell… and as we pass each other in the street, many years from now, there will be the most fleeting of glances and in that instant – that infinitesimal moment in time – we will know. Absolutely know. That you were there too. And lived to tell the tale.

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  5. Haha! And here I thought we southern US-ers were the only ones who got that sort of ribbing! Although truthfully, we deserve it. Wear a parka and gloves when it’s 50 degrees out and you’re pretty much asking for it.
    Love the snowman!

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    • I am genuinely amused by the similarities between North and South both here and in the US. A downpour here is a fine mist up North, and a few snowflakes there signifies the end of the world down South.
      My friend in Canada thinks that we should all bow our heads in shame as she considers what we’re experiencing “sunbathing weather.”
      Oh and that snowman, that was the product of the recent ‘heavy snowfall.’

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  6. Well Miss Lily that snow was hell. Sort of, a bit. Ok we did not see a lot of snow maybe 4 or 5 inches at most up in the hills and it did make my daughter take a detour to avoid the big hill where many cars had got stuck. She would have been fine but her partner had run off with the 4X4 leaving her to fend for herself. . . Hey chaps can be right bastards, but its a dog eat dog life out there when the snow falls.

    I’m a bit late again commenting and almost entirely not in cyberspace at present as my body has sort of slowed up a bit and the world wants me to do stuff. . . . I am waiting for sunny days now so that my great master plan can continue.

    Hope all is well and well done on getting your post into cyberspace I would do the same only it might snow again or Donald Trump might become President.

    Actually real life is OK but it does involve moving about, lifting things, pointing and trying to be nice to folk and that last one in particular I do find hard. I have tried smiling but it seems to scare folk off.

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    • I’m sorry to hear that your daughter had an encounter with Snowmageddon Mr Z. I say we go after her partner with pitchforks and torches and shout things like “you’re not welcome around these parts no more, ” “We know what you did, ” and “never stray from the path, especially when the moon is full, for his unscrupulous act.

      I know that in parts that aren’t London, there were some actual snow” It snowed for 3 straight hours here and all we were left with was a puddle.

      Cyberspace misses you, but your wellbeing is much more important. As for it snowing again or Trump becoming President, that stuff only happens in movies…or a parallel universe. And leave the smiling to others. Spawn smiled at a dog yesterday and the poor hound ran off whining. I told him that animals can often sense the presence of evil.

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      • I am waiting for sun. I think I have that SAD syndrome I have noticed the last couple of years I sort of stop for Christmas and the next thing I know the shops are full of Easter Eggs.

        I keep thinking it is going to be an odd year; only I have not worked out how yet, but I have a feeling it may involve me hiding under tables. . . . I hope I am wrong, but just in case I do have several sturdy tables.

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  7. I have just completed cooking a turkey, but I am waiting for the wifey to get home to carve it. It is our third turkey since after Christmas. I made it especially for my older dog Cooper, but the younger dog Pepper gets some too. We just survived an ice storm that reaLLy did a lot lot lot of tree damage. It fluctuated around freezing for a long time then dumped 5 cm of snow to cap it off. Crunch … went all the not so tall any more trees now their branches are in a ball beneath where they used to sway.

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    • How are you Mr E? I hope that all is well.
      You cooked a whole turkey for Cooper and Pepper? Now THAT’s love and dedication.
      I cooked Spawn some tuna for dinner the other day…well when I say cooked, I mean open up and tin…and when I say dinner, I mean he had to eat it straight from the tin. We call it fine dining. I say “here’s your dinner, you ain’t getting nothing else,” and he says “fine.”

      I saw the news reports of the amount of snow in some parts of the US. It made us sound like whiny toddlers in comparison. Just glad that you and your family are safe and didn’t suffer any damages.

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      • The ice storm damage alot of our trees throughout the city but the weather warmed up fast and it was gone incredibly fast. But there were continued power outages to the north of us for several days especially in the town where I finished high school.

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    • I think that’s why people in the South complain at the first sight of a snowflake, because we have never experienced the true horrors of winter. Oddly enough, those that do, are less likely to complain about it.

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