It would seem that the leader of an underground group of felines, calling themselves the Doom Cats, has gotten wind of the fact that not only does Spawn intend to use them for his army of minions but he also hopes to create a new species of Felis Catus…with X-ray vision and laser beam eyes. And yes, he is still attending his weekly therapy sessions.
“Members of the Feline community, I have gathered you all here today to impart upon you some very disturbing news. It would seem that…where’s Officers Tubbies and Tibbs?”
“I shall go and search for them, your Grace. I think I saw them go into the living room. They appeared to be having some sort of a disagreement”. (Opens the door to living room)
“Er…they seem to be otherwise engaged, my liege.”
“No matter, I’m sure they will join us in good time By the way Tom, you really need to lay off the caffeine.”
“Why do you say that Grand Lord?”
“Well, it’s just that your eyes…they’re a bit…you know…”
“Never mind. As I was saying Felines, I bring you some grave news…good God Sian! Can you please sit and conduct yourself in a manner as befitting a lady!”
“Dammit Sian, I can see what you had for breakfast! And where is everyone? There seems to be a distinct number of felines missing. Zelda?”
“I think I saw my husband Felix heading downstairs. I shall go and fetch him at once sir.”
“Chucky, do you know where the others have gone to? This really is of some great importance.”
“I believe sire, that Smudge has chosen to opt out of the Doom Cats. Apparently he’s now found God.”
“What in damnation is going on? Neville, will you please come out of that box! And Alfie, what the hell has gotten into you? Unhand that scratching post this instance!”
“RIGHT THAT’S ENOUGH! HAVE YOU ALL LOST YOUR MINDS?! AND WHERE IS LIEUTENANT CLYDE?”
“Someone pass me the catnip, I think I’m getting a headache. And will somebody please go and fetch me Officer Timmykins!!”
*5 minutes later…*
“Sir, I have a favour to ask of you.”
*sighs* “Very well Nibbles, what is it?”
“Felines! We are about to be beset by a megalomaniac child who is intent on recruiting us as his minions! He hopes to achieve this, by creating an army of cats with X-ray vision and laser beam eyes!”
“Never mind.”
~Lily
Updated from 27.04.2013
The Incoherent Ramblings Of A Moose 
I lol’d 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
An acronym! I consider that a mark of success!! Thank you kind sir. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I once beat a man to death for claiming to have rofl’d, and flayed the skin from one for apparently “sml”-ing. I do not bestow the acronyms lightly!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ikr? I smh at the casual use of acronyms, which imo is 2 casual indeed.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My mum sends text messages like that. But they’re not acronyms.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Heehee, my mum too. 🙂
LikeLike
just made me smile all the way through – love it. Most enjoyable thing I have done all day.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m with you, Claudette. I predict this will be the highlight of my day, and it’s only 9:00 am. And that doesn’t mean I plan on having a bad day either. (Thought I should clarify that.) 😀
LikeLiked by 2 people
Heehee, thank you for the clarification Christie. The canine community didn’t quite enjoy this post and will be having their say very soon. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know Cj, just has something that tickles the happiness button, doesn’t it?
LikeLiked by 2 people
😀
LikeLike
Thank you for such a lovely comment Claudette. The most enjoyable thing that I did all day, was to send Spawn of to school. The downside? That at the end of the day, he comes back home…
LikeLiked by 1 person
hehe – the really downside would be if he didn’t! go on- admit it, you love the little blighter. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Okay, I admit under duress and with a loaded gun held to my precious stash of chocolate, that I adore the kid.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lady, you had entirely too much fun writing this. (And I had entirely too much fun reading it.) 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
How can you tell? 🙂 I did enjoy writing this, but it’s the pictures that makes this post funny. Cats really are demented creatures.
LikeLike
An army of cats with X-ray vision and laser bean eyes would make a wicked army of minions!! Just imagine laser beams shooting out of that Lord Doom Cat’s sinister eyes, yikes. Of course, his community of felines are a pretty disorganized bunch of stray cats LOL! The cat pictures and captions are hysterical, Lily! Tom with the caffeine bug eyes especially cracks me up. Great post, I keep looking at those pictures and laughing. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Madilyn. Normally I have an idea for a post and then I search out the images to go with them This time, the pictures actually gave me the idea for this post and the upcoming canine one.
I love Tom. If Tom existed, I would hunt him down and like the abominable snowman in that Duffy Duck cartoon, I would kiss him and love him and squeeze him and hug him.
The trouble with cats is that they already think that they are superior to every mammal on this planet including us humans. Can you imagine how insufferable they would be if they had X ray vision and laser beam eyes?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Omg.. The cat on the scratching post and the Chucky cat! I suppose it’s a good thing I’m allergic otherwise I’m quite certain those are the cats I’d end up with!
LikeLiked by 1 person
The scratching post cat’s face is priceless. Reminds me of Spawn clinging onto his bed when I try to get him up for school in the morning.
LikeLike
I hate cats. Always crapping in my garden but that was one of the funniest things I’ve read in a long time girl. My sides hurt so much I may need to go to A & E!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Mr D!
It’s okay to hate cats. They have nothing but scorn and disdain for humankind, much like Spawn.
My mum is embroiled in an all out turf war with the cats in our neighbourhood because of her garden. It’s quite hilarious the way human and feline exchange dirty looks before the stone throwing begins and death threats are made.
LikeLike