Are you tired? Stressed? Frustrated? Overworked?
About to beat your child over the head with their own left foot?
Are you fed up that your stealer of joy is slowly siphoning the life from you like a midget petrol thief?
Then why not call the NAPCA. (national association for the prevention of cruelty to adults).
We have a dedicated team of experts waiting to take your call.
Or why don’t you become a sponsor?
For just 50p a week, you can stop a desperate mother from being driven to the brink of becoming a crack hoe.
50p will provide much needed chocolate and comfort food to needy parents everywhere.
So go on, join today and make this world a much better place.
Call us now on 123-456-help
Or visit our website: http://www.ishouldhaverippedoutmywomb.co.uk/
*calls from a BT landline will cost more than the 50p that you will be donating and a whole shit more if you call from any other networks, 10 times more if you call from a mobile (cell). Subject to terms and conditions, terms being not to sue us if a huge phone bills ends up in your mailbox, conditions, insanity to obviously call us in the first place. And by the way, don’t you know that it’s unhealthy to be this close to the computer screen? I mean how bored must you be to even take the time out to look this closely at the small print? Don’t blame me if you have a migraine from all that squinting, most people just ignore it anyway.