P is for Plates Of Meat-The A-Z Of Cockney Rhyming Slang.

The last few months have been a pretty busy time for Spawn, and what with exams and work experiences on the horizon, he has been pondering conscientiously and diligently his plans for the future. Unfortunately, and as most of the regular readers know, this involves world domination.
According to my overripe Womb-Fruit, when he is “Supreme And Almighty Ruler of the entire universe”, (although I have suggested that he change the title to ‘Ascending Ruler (and) Supreme Emperor’, or ARSE for short) one of his evil plans will be to chop off the hands of our primate cousins, and replace them with sub-atomic machine guns. There is no logical reason for this, apparently it would be just ‘for fun’.
But there is some good news. If war were to suddenly break out, my Fruit Of The Loom has assured me that I would be placed in charge of his army of disabled mutant monkeys.
“Why thank you,” I offered. “Is it because of my well honed negotiation skills? Or maybe my knowledge of modern tactical warfare? Or could it possibly be because of my fine survival instincts perhaps?”
“No”, he intoned in a voice so monotone the grass outside became depressed and tried to cut itself, “It’s because you resemble one and they are more likely to take orders from someone they can identify with.”
Spawn is currently at the local hospital, undergoing the emergency procedure of having my foot removed from his arse. And now on to today’s letter which is…

P

Cockney rhyming slang-Plates Of Meat

Translation-Feet

Example-“After a hard day’s shopping, me plates of meat don’t half hurt.”

 

MeatInline1

~Lily

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16 thoughts on “P is for Plates Of Meat-The A-Z Of Cockney Rhyming Slang.

  1. It’s spooky. My ‘P please Bob’ post is also about meat. Although it involves knives. Now why isn’t that a surprise? Actually my plates of meat ache. And I’ve only just got up. Maybe that’s an excuse to buy new shoes! Hate clothes shopping but LOVE shoe shopping.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I hope Spawn is soon discharged… from the hospital that is 😉

    I have large plates – I have to buy extra wide size 11’s. And you know what they say about men with big feet? … They don’t fall over in the wind.

    Liked by 1 person

    • When they said they were discharging Spawn, I was hoping that it would be out of a canon.

      Heehee, I have big feet but refuse to wear white shoes as it looks like I’m skiing with canoes.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Alas my feet were well smashed up (crushed) many years ago so they are a bit weak and it means that should much running be required in order to escape the end of the world as we know it; or say to escape someone bend on world domination then I’m a goner. I still have a couple of pins in the one so if I ever have to pick a lock all I need to do is dismantle my foot (yuck).

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I see Spawn (aka “Ascending Ruler and Supreme Emperor, ARSE, ha ha!) has been busy sharpening his world domination skills and creating mutant monkeys, yikes!

    Alas (I just love using that word sometimes LOL!) my “plates of meat” cause me nothing but misery these days with arthritis. I’d love to trade them in for a newer model!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I don’t mind him sharpening his world domination skills, just as long as he’s in bed by 10:30. Even a tyrannical leader needs his beauty sleep.

      I understand the ole arthritis only too well. I’d love to trade mine in for a newer model too…possibly Channing Tatum…

      Liked by 1 person

    • I know Mr D, I’m about as subtle as a ten ton truck.
      Glad I could put a smile on your face, but why do you need cheering up? If it’s a person, do you want me to go all ninja or their arse, cos I will.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Ninja on their arse?? That’s a new one on me girl and I consider myself to be well versed in such things.
        You always seem to be able to make me laugh. I’m at home today and I’m going to finish my cup of Rosie BEFORE I read your latest offering. PIL is a bit fed up with me spraying tea/coffee/breakfast over the wallpaper.
        Yesterday was just a crap day but today will be better. Thank you for offering to inflict serious damage on the culprit though. I hope your foot has recovered from being buried in Spawns bum.
        Have a great day.

        Liked by 1 person

        • “Going Ninja on their arse”, is something my family say, along with “uh-oh, she’s about to unleash the Dragon,” for when someone is angry.
          Apologise to PIL for me. Tell her it’s you and not me.

          My foot has fully recovered from being inserted into Spawn’s behind. Not sure the same can be said for Spawn’s behind. And I’d gladly inflict serious bodily harm on anyone who pisses you off.

          Really hoping that the clouds of yesterday have lifted and that you have a great day today. 🙂

          Like

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