Introduction by Spawn
Greetings future subjects. Although she is currently unavailable, mother is indeed alive and well. I know, I know, please contain your disappointment. I too was crushed when I heard the news but we all have our crosses to bear. Presently, the dried up shrivelled husk is unable to come to the computer right now as she is currently being detained by her old acquaintances cake and despair. I believe her cohorts, mental instability and emphysema will also be joining her shortly. And so it has befallen upon me to say
a pox on you all Thank you, you few lesser mortals such as myself, for joining us in today’s attempts at murdering the British language…wait…did I inadvertently call myself a lesser mortal?? Blast and damnation! Befuddled by my own intelligence quotient!
Farewell for now, and I hope to subjugate and enslave you all in the coming times.
Cockney rhyming slang-Lager and Lime
Example-“Ooh, I’m in so much pain today. Me lager and lime is killing me.”