There are so many things in life that bring us a sense of joy and a squeal of laughter, but most of those things are illegal and carry a heavy jail sentence or a stiff penalty…and yes, I did giggle at the word ‘stiff’. So instead, let us look at some of those activities that can help to alleviate the stresses of a hard day, as well as to cultivate the mind when in a state of dire boredom.
- Phoning a random number and then saying, “I’ve hidden the body, now what?” Can bring about some hilarious results. It can also bring about the police, SWAT Team and the SAS if the particular person that you called, happens to have a phone tracker installed upon their dialling device.
- While at work, sharpen a large knife whilst sitting at your desk. Then look directly into the eyes of one of your co-worker whilst muttering, “soon…very soon…”
- Walk up to a child that looks vaguely like you and then tell them that you are them from the future. Who doesn’t like freaking the shit out of small children? Er…just me then…
- Walk into a phone shop with a banana and tell them that you want to upgrade to an apple.
- Approach a random stranger, so-called because not only are they random but they’re also a stranger, tap them on the shoulder, shout “Tag, you’re it” and then run away.
- Stand in an elevator dressed as the Grim Reaper and when some enters, say “It’s time.”
And now for today’s letter, I present to you…
Cockney rhyming slang-Jack The Ripper
Translation-Kipper (We Brits love to cook our kippers under an oven grill, with a slice of lemon)
Example-“Ere my golden dove, (love) I’m garn ter (going to) put a couple of Jack The Rippers under the grill. Would yer like a touch of lemon with it?”
A couple of Jack The Rippers under the grill with a touch of lemon