J is for Jack The Ripper-The A-Z Of Cockney Rhyming Slang.

There are so many things in life that bring us a sense of joy and a squeal of laughter, but most of those things are illegal and carry a heavy jail sentence or a stiff penalty…and yes, I did giggle at the word ‘stiff’. So instead, let us look at some of those activities that can help to alleviate the stresses of a hard day, as well as to cultivate the mind when in a state of dire boredom.

  1. Phoning a random number and then saying, “I’ve hidden the body, now what?” Can bring about some hilarious results. It can also bring about the police, SWAT Team and the SAS if the particular person that you called, happens to have a phone tracker installed upon their dialling device.
  2. While at work, sharpen a large knife whilst sitting at your  desk. Then look directly into the eyes of one of your  co-worker whilst muttering, “soon…very soon…”
  3. Walk up to a child that looks vaguely like you and then tell them that you are them from the future. Who doesn’t like freaking the shit out of small children? Er…just me then…
  4. Walk into a phone shop with a banana and tell them that you want to upgrade to an apple.
  5. Approach a random stranger, so-called because not only are they random but they’re also a stranger, tap them on the shoulder, shout “Tag, you’re it” and then run away.
  6. Stand in an elevator dressed as the Grim Reaper and when some enters, say “It’s time.”

And now for today’s letter, I present to you…

J

Cockney rhyming slang-Jack The Ripper

Translation-Kipper (We Brits love to cook our kippers under an oven grill, with a slice of lemon)

Example-“Ere my golden dove, (love) I’m garn ter (going to) put a couple of Jack The Rippers  under the grill. Would yer like a touch of lemon with it?”

grill

A couple of Jack  The Rippers under the grill with a touch of lemon

lemon

~Lily

 

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24 thoughts on “J is for Jack The Ripper-The A-Z Of Cockney Rhyming Slang.

  1. That is one sour lemon. Knowing you, Miss Lily, I’m surprised Jack the Ripper wasn’t a … Stripper? Maybe on his day off from all the killing and mutilation. After all, everyone needs a hobby. Oh, and number 2 in your list? That’s totally me. You’re not one of my co-workers are you?

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s FAR too early to laugh. Stop that! When I drew the expression on the lemon, it made me laugh. That’s when I realised that I have some serious mental issues…and then I read your comment and realised that I’m not alone. 😉

      No, I’ve not been allowed inside an office since ‘The Great Staples War’ of 2008.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Lily dear…email your sister. She has returned. Check the site. She has left you info.
    You’re as fabulous as ever. And I’m only slightly drunk at the moment.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I do rather enjoy confusing small children and have been told off for it in the past when we used to run our gallery. Well the pesky little critters would come in with their parents and touch stuff so I would use physiological warfare on them, and if that failed I would stare and smile a lot, no one likes that. To be fare there we one or two (two) kids who were OK and I was almost nice to them when they turned up. They lived a long way off so it was only twice a year.

    I do like a good kipper . . . does cockney slang work in reverse as in . . . Here that Kipper has run of with my nice ripe Stairs.

    Well done again Miss Lily only 135 more letters to go

    Liked by 1 person

    • When I was all shaven headed, tattooed and pierced, children used to ask me whether I was a man or woman. A couple of times, I even got accused of being an alien. Bless their poor confused little brains. I would just smile sweetly at them and then threaten to kill their whole family whist they slept…

      Not sure if it works in reverse. I have enough trouble doing it the right way round.
      And well done to you as well Mr Z. For 2 people who were intent on not doing the challenge this year, we’ve done pretty good.

      Like

      • Was shaven headed, tattooed and pierced Miss Lily at least one of those is tricky to undo. . . . . . . . . . . . And how do we know you are not an alien, you might be and using the internet to trick unsuspecting bad poets into a sense of confusion. No hang on I was confused before the internet was invented but it has not helped the situation one bit.

        As for the A to Z this year it is easy-peasy really as I am only commenting in response to comments so other than my faithful regulars (the RATs) so far that is 4 comments and I mean the poetry is easy I think it in my head and when I go to write it down the thoughts are all asleep or completely dead.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Ok, so I’m still tattooed…and still pierced…and the left side of my hair is just growing back…okay maybe ‘was’ is not the right word to use.

          Actually Mr Z, I did believe that I was an alien up until the age of 13 because I didn’t seem to fit in anywhere. But I soon came to realise that I was just bat-crap crazy.

          I’m being a good girl and going through the linky list, but I think I must be the only one. There’s a lot of blogs out there that are being ignored, more so than on previous challenges. I fear that the A-Z has lost it’s community spirit.

          Like

  4. OMG, Lily, I was laughing so hard, each activity was funnier than the next!! Jack the Rippers under the grill w/a touch of lemon, I love it. Of course, they might just slash away at dinner LOL! And that lemon is a real sourpuss ha ha! (btw, I giggled at “stiff” too!) 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Madilyn, it’s all getting so surreal that I’m even beginning to scare myself! The rule of thumb is that if I have an idea that makes me laugh like a loon, NOT to include it on the blog. Nobody should have to deal with my level of crazy. But the Jack The Rippers and touch of lemon proved to hard to keep to myself. I now fear that things are going to get worse…much worse.
      (‘stiff’ is a funny word, like ‘moist’) 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. When I was in college, a dozen of us sometimes dressed in black suits and sunglasses to head to the mall. We would pick a person and pretend to be observing them. A couple always just a few stores back and would try to be nonchalantly doing something else if they looked at any of us. Someone placed on a bench that would watch as he walked by. Someone hiding behind a mannequin. And always talking into our earpieces about the “subject”

    Of course, we wanted to person to be aware of us just so we could see the reactions. We would keep it up until they left the mall or approached us.

    Great way to burn a boring Saturday.

    Liked by 1 person

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