I is for Irish Jig-The A-Z Of Cockney Rhyming Slang.

Let us start today’s A-Z Challenge with a poem

Utterly Vile Wilhelmina,
was what one would call a real skeezer.
Oh how she loved men
and in one night had ten,
as she loved to suck on a cock-tail. She was a bit of a drinker you see.

Utterly Vile Wilhelmina,
was what one would call a crowd pleaser.
On a day trip from Dover,
she was found bent right over,
tying up the laces of her shoe, which had come undone.

Utterly Vile Wilhelmina,
was what one would call a real teaser.
As the men all walked by,
she would gaze at their flies,
So that she could get a good look at their designer labels.

Utterly Vile Wilhelmina,
was what one would call a strip teaser.
Round the pole she would go,
her legs akimbo,
as the men would all gape at her near gymnastic skills.

Utterly Vile Wilhelmina,
died suddenly of septicaemia.
In a sex shop was found,
on her knees she was down,
after falling over and receiving a nasty cut, which she never got treated, thus getting an infection which meant that her leg became amputated, leading on to her even death.

What? I said let’s start with a poem. I didn’t say it was going to be any good.
And now for today’s letter…

I

Cockney rhyming slang-Irish Jig

Translation-Wig

Example-“Have you seen the Barnet (hair) on Julia? It must be an Irish Jig.”

head3

Irish Jig-Wig…did you see what I did there?

~Lily

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19 thoughts on “I is for Irish Jig-The A-Z Of Cockney Rhyming Slang.

  1. LMAO at poor and utterly vile Wilhelmina!! Lily, that’s a clever image with the Irish Jig-Wig. If I ever wear an Irish jig, I want them dancing on my head! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • I tries to make the couple into a gif so that they would dance, but once stuck to the head, they refused to move…ingrates. As for Vile Wilhelmina, it’s poetry at it’s worse. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve read all of your A-Z posts so far, but haven’t been taking the time to comment. I guess that makes me a lurker… a lurker who looks and likes what she’s looking at, and keeps on lurking so she can look some more. (Believe it or not, I’m actually making some progress on my book!) I still think you have one of the best senses of humor in the whole doggone blogosphere, girl. It sounds to me like you’ve been having way too much fun writing the posts for this challenge, but that’s a good thing, because they sure are a lot of fun to read.

    However, shame on Mr. Dick for making that dastardly suggestion about someone hanging you in a gallery, or anywhere else, for that matter. I mean, really! My God, we can’t have you hanging around in some gallery, lurking and leering at all of the patrons. Worse yet, if said hanging were to lead to your untimely demise… then you’d just be lurking, without any looking… or sharing with your faithful fans. Alas, you’d just be hanging there, unable to observe and comment on how well the male patrons were hanging.

    Oh Lord, I think I need another cup of tea…

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hahahaha! Oh good lord this made me laugh…and creeped me out just a little. The whole you lurking thing was just a tad sinister. But bless the good lord Morgan Freeman, you know me FAR too well. Lurking and leering at (and maybe slightly and unknowingly caressing) the male patrons, yep that’s me. Thank you for still reading and for the compliment. Waning comments and views aren’t making it no less enjoyable, but it does make me doubt each post. So thanks. 🙂 Ooh and I’m glad that you’re making some headway with the book. You go girl!

      Like

      • No, don’t even THINK of giving up, please. It wouldn’t be the same without you. Whenever you blog I am guaranteed to have a smile on my face, which earns me weird looks from anyone around at the time. But hey ho, an amused look and a reputation for writing twisty stuff means that I’m left alone much of the time. Maybe they’re scared of ending up in a story and meeting a sticky end 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Well Miss lily that was a grand poem indeed you are attempting to make me look rubbish and I would say doing a damn good job of it too. If you start drawing pictures then I will probably go and sulk a bit. I have to say I thought your poem was very much in the mould (or is it mold although I think Mold is on route to Wrexham) of the Tiger Lillies.

    I though Irish Jig was Cockney slang for David Cameron as in Irish Jig. . .Pig . . . A jig with a pig. . . . . . . . enough said.

    Well done Miss Lily keep up the good work and dont get too carried away yet there are many letters still to go yet. We dont want you burning yourself out and vanishing again for ages.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ooh, I like being compared to the Tiger Lillies…mind you, there’s obviously something insane in their membranes, which is just another way to say that they’re all a bit mad.
      The extent of my artwork is what you see here. They only allow crayons on the mental ward, which doesn’t quite work so well on a laptop.

      There is a slang word for David Cameron and it rhymes with Banker. Anyway, I thought him and the pig were in a committed relationship at the time.

      Thanks Mr Z. Too late about the burning myself out part.

      Like

    • A cool limerick
      Is a mighty trick,
      But it’s not as good
      As sucking on an ice cool lemon sorbet at the height of summer…

      Can’t see where I’m going wrong with these limericks…

      Like

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