This morning, I awoke at the crack of Dawn eager to begin my day and continue onwards on this adventure called the A-Z Challenge. Mind you, I have asked Dawn repeatedly not to expose her crack so early in the morn, but it seems that my requests have fallen upon deaf ears…which is somewhat understandable as Dawn is indeed deaf. So on to today’s letter, which is…
Cockney rhyming slang-Chalk Farm
Translation-Arm
Example-“Oi guvnor. I’ve noticed that yer seem ta ave yer chalk farm round me lemon. (girlfriend) Hairy biscuits and cheese, (please) kindly remove it or ya shall find me boot up yer Khyber pass.” (booty)
Translation of the translation by Spawn-“Hello my good fellow. It has been brought to my cognizance that you appear to have your upper appendage around my good lady friend. Kindly remove said appendage or we duel at dawn whereby you may find my boot encountering a place of much discomfort. Good day sir.”
Chalk Farm…see what I did there?
~Lily
*Chalk with creepy facial expressions drawn by Spawn
The Incoherent Ramblings Of A Moose 
I’ve always fancied the crack of Dawn.
So glad that you translated it cos I didn’t understand a bleedin’ word.
I love using slang cos it totally confuses those not in the know.
Now I wait with bated breathe for ‘D’
Have a great day girlie
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It’s not that I don’t like the crack of Dawn, but I’ve got to have at least one cup of coffee and a baked goods before I can appreciate it. I do like it when the sun goes down though…ahem…*coughs*
Slang confuses the hell out of me when my brother starts talking about money. When he bangs on about ‘ponies’ and ‘monkeys’ I’m like, why is he talking about the zoo?
You have great day as well Mr D.
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Sigh, I love Spawn, he has such a way with the language. 😉
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Claudette, in the mornings I’m always awoken by his dulcet tones asking, “Mater, would you perchance partake in a hot beverage this morn?” And I’m always like, “Can’t you just ask me if I’d like a cup of sodding coffee?!”
When my niece was about 6 weeks old, he looked at her and said,”Ah, this one is defective,” because she wasn’t talking yet. Freaky arsed child.
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🙂 – ah, my offspring just ignore me (mostly). The one left at home (19) now likes to find interesting and unusual ways to annoy e to show her affection.
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Ah, that’s what Spawn must be doing, because he seems to have taken being annoying as some kind of competitive sport.
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Yes, and mine has to excel in it – why couldn’t it be winning the lottery? 🙂
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And why didn’t I just get a puppy?
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They pee. …..oh, kids do too.
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surely Dawn is a bit Mutt and Geoff rather than simply deaf Miss Lily (just saying I mean if you are going to go all cockney and stuff) . . . . . Maybe you should have done the A to Z of Spawns sayings, I suspect the Lil-man could give you an endless supply of interesting comments all the way to Z and beyond. Well all I can say is Wooden Duck (good luck) Miss Lily.
I think I wrote the letter C on Saturday and it is due to appear by magic on the blog in a bit. The Big Boy (joy) of technology and Calling Cat (all that)
Ooooo are you planning to wear your pearly Queen outfit and play a bit of Mrs Mills . . .
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It is Mutt and Geoff Mr Z, but the beginning of each post isn’t part of the lesson of cockney rhyming slang. That would be faaaar too much work and I’m faaaar too lazy to put in that much effort.
I might continue with the Lil man’s translation of the translation. He can write it and I can go back to bed. Perfect.
And please, *whispers* don’t mention Mrs Mills. Who knows where that woman will be lurking with her next party invitation.
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I have often wondered just how confusing Cockney slang can be.
If somebody as talking about a “Chalk Farm” but instead of ARM they meant lip-balm or Vietnam, or their Palm?
Who is in charge of deciding which rhyme is for which word?
Is it the Queen (Mr Sheen)?
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Mr H, It is only confusing for those that do not speak the language of my people.
I believe the Queen of the cockneys and the person who decides which rhyme is for each word, is her Majesty Barbara Windsor. This was back in the days when her bra would ping off for absolutely no reason whatsoever and she would dissolve into the giggles of a 14 year old girl.
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Excuse me butting in. It depends on the context Mr B. You can use the same word for different things. For instance; “He’s gone to the Jodrell” means he’gone to the bank. “He’s gone for a Jodrell” means he’s…er…um…
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Now there’s no need to bring the tone down Mr D, that’s my job.
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Wrong choice of example my dear andthe erase button on my bloody dog doesnt work! Sorry
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The day someone can’t write anything naughty on my blog, will be the day the zombie apocalypse begins.
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I don’tlike zombies.
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I like Zombies and Mrs Mills
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Mr Z, Ix-nay on mentioning that woma…oh no, I hear the sound of a musical organ…
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I think I dated one in college once.
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What? A musical organ?
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No, a Zombie. Although he did use to like it when I played with his instrument…on account that he used to be in a band.
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I’m sitting here at work smiling. and the entire office is wondering what I’m up to. Don’t ever stop, Miss Lily.
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You do know that they probably think you’re looking at porn, right?
As long as is are chocolates in my stomach and coffee in my veins, I shall continue. 🙂
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Mmm, chocolate. Anytime, anywhere.
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Hysterical! You’ve prompted me to create a Pinterest board specifically for fellow A to Z’ers and the posts that I love. As soon as I’m done with this comment, I’m adding A, B, and C to my board and every one of your A to Z posts to follow. This is GREAT stuff Lily! 😀
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What an excellent idea! And thank you SO much for including me. 🙂
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Is it slut shaming to suggest Dawn offering her crack to all comers is a bit skanky?
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Millions have seen the crack of Dawn and yet she still less skanky than the Kardashians.
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That’s just because she doesn’t tweet her crack!
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Chalk Farm for arm, ha ha! Lily, I love the way Spawn translated the translation, perfect. I don’t even know WTF a chalk farm is but that image with the creepy faces sure gives me an idea LOL! And oh yes, Dawn is most certainly deaf! !
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I probably should have mentioned that Chalk Farm is a place in London. Oops, my bad.
I asked Spawn to draw the faces on the chalk, but grew suspicious when he wouldn’t let me look at his creative outpourings until the end. That boy really knows how to showcase his brand of crazy.
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Wait! If that chalk farm coordinated itself better, it could make a fence! Is that how white picket fences came to be? (love their faces)
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Spawn was responsible for the placing of the scary chalk-zombies as well as their scary expressions. Not sure what he was trying to achieve, but who am I to question his obvious insanity.
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