Now as we all know, children are
scum our future.
As the great George Benson once conceded, we need to teach them well and let them lead the way, show them all the beauty they possess inside. Although as we are all aware, what they possess inside, is an evil spirit and the ability to make Satan look like a school girl.
So in order to teach them our
soul thieving succubus future ways in which to become fine upstanding citizens, we need to expand their minds…not too much though, we don’t want them to have free will.
So what better way to achieve that, then the perusal of words. In fact, books of all kinds are the way in which to unlock the potential of these bright young things and the first in our little collection, is a colouring book that will surely fire up the imagination.
Paint With Water is a brilliant concept for the child with a creative mind. It has also inspired me to use the same method in order to create some very moving pieces of art.
Here’s a few of the artwork that I myself have created through the genius of this book.
This glorious piece, is my interpretation of Edvard Munch’s ‘The Scream’.
This one is of the Eiffel Tower.
And here’s a life-like self portrait of myself that’s worthy of Leonardo da Vinci’s Mona Lisa.
Finally, here’s a signed copy.
Simply stunning, I think you’ll all agree. Please be aware that these pictures are copyrighted and therefore you must ask permission if you would like to use any of them.
Coming up, we have a wonderfully poignant book that deals with the issue of losing a loved one. Written by the mild mannered and evangelical Quentin Tarantino, this is a tearjerker of a tale.
This next book poses the delicate and most important question asked by all
self entitled whiny bastards teens everywhere.
The answer is, that God LIED.
Now as a writer…ahem…grammar is indispensable as a learning tool.
Eye myself, am yoosless wifowt my gramma boock. Dat reminds mi, eye knead too oarda a nu kopi.
In times gone past, I’ve stated many times that children are the gifts that just keeps on giving, like chlamydia or thrush. They elicit many emotions ranging from the good to the bad…but mainly the bad and this why it is vital that every child needs to read…
Ah relationships. What would we be without them? Happier, wealthier and mentally better off. But for those who like to submit themselves to the drudgery of marital slavery, it is fundamental we teach our kids about the importance of their role as a lover. This books teaches girls the correct way in which to entice a life partner.
And this bestseller, teaches our boys how best to treat the females in their lives.
And finally, an hilariously heart warming tale about the adventures of Little Duck.
Cute little fella isn’t he? I wonder what he is thinking about? Let’s go and ask him shall we?
Er…I think maybe we’ll leave it there for this week. Join me next week, where we will be taking a peek at material as read by adults.
No, not that kind of reading material…pervs.