My Box Is Now Open To Public Viewing

Folks, do you ever feel bogged down by the futility of life’s never-ending existence? That existentially speaking, even though we all have the power to determine our development through the act of free will,  we all are who we are because of external forces beyond our control. And although we strive for actualization in our goal to achieve and to succeed, that in the end, we never really get there.
Me neither, so let us crack on with today’s post.

Yes folks, it is that time once again. A time for me to open my box wide and show you all the delights that’s inside. Now last time, I posted my box on the internet so that everyone could have a gander without touching, for inside my box is precious and very delicate. A friend visited recently and he made me quite upset when he handled my box roughly. And so since then, no one is allowed to tamper with my record collection box.

So who do we have first?

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Why it’s the lovely Mrs Mills inviting us all to her party. Look, she’s even writing out the invitations, bless her. I’ll wager there will be plenty of good fun and high spirits at Mrs Mills’ party. And judging by the looks of such a jolly woman, I’m guessing that she has a huge box that will keep all the party-goers gushing for hours upon hours. But sadly Mrs Mills, I will have to decline your invitation. I never leave the house on the weeks ending in ‘days.’ Also, I just don’t want to.

Now here’s the lovely Gary ‘Getting Down To Business’.

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And by the look on his face and the stance of those hips, I’d say that Gary has just finished getting down to business…in his pants. For goodness sake man, there’s a portaloo right behind you.

Next we have…

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I know that everyone is welcome at your party Mrs Mills and I thank you kindly for your invite, but I have to stay home and milk the cat.

Now as you all know, I do love a ‘Call and Response’ album and these two are no exception. First we have Mr David Ingles singing about how that rather naughty chap Lucifer, has been defeated by way of a wayward golf buggy.

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And in his response album, Scary preacher Mike Crain tells us how.

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Now let us move on to the…

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I know it is Mrs Mills, but I must protest at your persistence. Now while I am most grateful to you for your invitation, I really must go. The man on the telly told me to “stay tuned” and I cannot disobey a direct order.

As I was saying, let us move on to the classic stirrings of the Space Cadet Chorus And Orchestra, with their extraordinary album all about the exploration of space travel.

Rocket-To-Uranus

‘Rocket to Uranus’, is the brilliant follow up to the highly praised ‘ Uranus Is Flaring Up’ and the critically acclaimed second album, ‘There’s A Hole In Uranus.’

Lastly, we have…

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For the love of Morgan Freeman Mrs Mills, I’m sure it is a wonderful party and I’m pretty sure that what you’re doing with those monkeys is illegal, but I do not want to go to your bloody party! This is harassment at best and I will be contacting my lawyer shortly. Now if you don’t mind, I’ve got to go and fulfil my potential.

And now lastly, an album dedicated to the Father’s family…

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Who happen to be standing on the graves of where they buried the Mother’s family. And that concludes this months peek inside my music bo…

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Oh for fuck’s sake Mrs Mills!!

~Lily

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23 thoughts on “My Box Is Now Open To Public Viewing

  1. Do you know that I think if I look through the dust and stuff at the back of the old LPs that I have not listened to in a long time. Some of them never, as there may be a couple from my parents and things were different then, those were the days when folk would listen to the Black and White Minstrels on the tele without even knowing it was as non PC as it is possible to get without being arrested. Made worse by the fact is was all watched on a black and white tele anyway, with a picture so grainy that it could just as easily have been Dr Who and the Daleks. Strangely the singing sounded similar also.

    OK yes back to the point I reckon somewhere in this house in a dark shadowy corner there might just still be Mrs Mills and her Piano. . . . The Queen of Honky Tonk at her very best waiting to be played just once more for old times.

    I wonder what would happen if she turned up on X Factor supported by her mates the George Mitchell Singers to give a certain group of chaps their PC correct name.

    Ah yes the good old days when you could watch the dot slowly vanish when you turned the tele off after all standing up for the National Anthem at 10.30 after the epilogue.
    .

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh my lord Mr Z. I’m old enough to remember the epilogue, though I never knew what on earth it was about, and that small dot and National Anthem. I used to stare at that sodding dot for ages! The George Mitchell Singers were showing even when I was a little girl. They scared the Lena Zavaroni out of me. Thanks for the memories…I feel quite depressed now.

      Heehee, also thanks for the Mrs Mills collection. I feel like I should be saying ‘apples and pears’ and sewing buttons onto my dress after listening to that.

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  2. I’ve had a rotten day of it today…don’t ask…. (Oh okay, I had to climb under the house and attempt to fix a broken sewerage pipe and failed… i told you not to ask!) and this Miss Lily, THIS has just made me chuckle like the idiot I am.

    Love it.

    I now know what to ask for when Mrs H demands to know what I want for the upcoming Winter Festival gift opening ceremonies this year.

    Cheers Lily!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Believe me Mr H, if I knew you were gonna go on about sewage pipes, I wouldn’t have asked. Especially after unblocking the toilet yesterday. Gonna force Spawn to brush his teeth with that bloody toilet brush!

      Glad that I could get a chuckle out of you at least. And you are most welcomed. Ooh, are you going to ask Mrs H for a plumber this year? You can have the one tied down in my basement.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Lord have mercy, that Mrs. Mills sure is a party animal, isn’t she?

    I’m not sure what’s funnier: these albums or your comments. Never mind, Yes, I am. Your comments. Definitely your comments. You crack me up. I wasn’t in as dire a need of a good laugh as the poor guy who had to crawl under his house to fix a sewer line, but hey! We can all use a good laugh every day… works better than any vitamins. Thanks for providing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Susan, I’m beginning to suspect that Mrs Mills is really Madame Mills and that those parties are filled with debauchery and sinfulness…damn, I wished I’d gone now.

      The albums are funny enough to inspire my comments, so I’d say that they were way funnier. But thanks so much for your lovely comment. Still, things could be worse. I could be under a house somewhere, fixing a broken sewage pipe. Poor Mr H.

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    • Hmm, I may have to revise my thoughts on Mrs Mills being a brothel keeper. A scoffer you say? Now I’m beginning to wonder about the whereabouts of those contestants we haven’t heard from since. Someone that jolly, has to be hiding something. Chianti and Fava beans anyone?

      Liked by 1 person

    • Oh lovely gwenie, how’s it hanging? To the left as usual?
      That Mrs Mills! She’s evil incarnate I tell you. You mark my words…actually, I don’t even know what that means…
      And thank you. There’s worse to come. ..much worse.

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  4. Lily, I love the surprises when you open up your delightful box! 🙂 “For the love of Morgan Freeman Mrs Mills,” LMAO!! An awfully friendly lady, so persistent about her parties, with that same overly excited look on her far too jolly face. Perhaps a bit too friendly methinks! I haven’t heard of Mrs. Mills across the ocean here but I’d really love to know what kind of parties she’s throwing with monkeys being served tea and biscuits!!

    Gary looks like he’s got a stick up his butt, look at that stance LOL! Oh yeah, he just finished getting down to business alright. Guess he thinks he’s hot stuff standing in front of the phone booth like “I’m gonna change into Superman for ya, baby!” ha ha! The album covers and your comments cracked me up on those scary preachers and all the Uranus albums!

    I’m suspicious about Father and his family. Where is the mother’s family? Uh oh, they never came back from Mrs. Mills party!!! Just look at that satisfied grin on Mrs. Mills as she’s rolling around in the balloons! What exactly is she serving those monkeys anyway?! LOL!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Madilyn, I knew you’d appreciate the delights of my box.
      Judging by the permanent smile on her face and the serving of tea and biscuits to chimps, I’d say that the type of parties thrown by Mrs Mills, almost certainly contain copious amounts of Mary J. No adult should look THAT happy whilst rolling around a bunch of balloons…except obviously those people with balloon fetish…OH MY GOD. MRS MILLS IS A BALLOON FETISHIST!

      You just got to love the passion of those priests in their endeavours to bring actual physical bodily harm to Satan. And those Uranus albums are pure classics, with lyrics such as ‘I looked at the moon and thought of Uranus.’
      As for Gary, some adult nappies should stop him from getting down to business in public and can’t you tell that the Father’s family are standing atop of the Mother’s family’s grave which they helped dig?

      Liked by 1 person

  5. What? Your box was open to the public? For viewing? And I missed it? Curses! Foiled again!

    Mrs Mills? Crikey Lily Moose girlie, your box must be pretty dusty. My mum and dad had 78s of Mrs Mills. If we were naughty they would play them as a punishment.

    As for A Rocket to Your Anus. What ever turns you on girl is all I can say.

    Like

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