After clearing out the
sex slave underground dungeon cellar, I came across a few exhausted bodies treasures that I used to peruse or watch whilst the whip-lash marks faded and everyone got their breaths back I had some spare time. So here for your pleasure, I have decided to share some of those precious items with you.
Nude nuns and dead things and hookers and kittens, these are a few of my favourite things.
Ahh, this book is among one of my most treasured tomes. During those long cold winter nights, I could often be found playing with and stroking my pussy, whilst reading the delightful text adorning these pages. The table of contents include: ‘How to play with your pussy’, ‘Naming your pussy’, ‘How to eat with your pussy’, ‘Nursing a sick pussy’, ‘Why everyone should have a pussy’ and Disciplining your pussy’ among others. (These are real folks) Oh Fluffy Winklebottom, how I miss you.
Now this is one of those rare but true classics, which deals with the now common issue of gang violence. This book will surely go down in history, as one of the greatest contemporary novels in modern literature.
The life of a father, is foretold by a young man in this beautiful and romantic saga, about first time parenting. Read about the trials and tribulations faced, as Christian realizes that becoming a father is not only soul destroying but quite literally hell.
I’ve spent many a moment crying over the pages of this best seller and wishing vehemently, for the death of all those around me. This book not only helped me deal with the trauma of my childhood but also proved to be prophetic in it’s title.
This opus tells the compelling yet poignant and provocative story, of a woman plagued by memories of…shit! Who am I kidding? It’s a woman with a haunted vagina for god’s sake!
This heartwarming and moving tale, follows a group of lesbian horses as they detail their experiences with coming out of the stable and their struggles to be accepted by all the other farmyard animals.
After shifting through my novels, I then moved on to my old movie collection. These priceless celluloids are without doubt, great works of recognised and well established values. I’m sure that most, if not all of you, have heard of these gems.
First up, this insightful docu-drama, traces the difficult plight of monastic contemplative nuns. A community of women, living under strict vows of poverty, chastity and obedience. Follow their story as our modern day sisters, seek new and innovative ways of enticing more people back into the house of our Saviour.
In order for future generations to grow up wise and with good judgement, It is with prudence that we should offer them counsel in such philosophical matters as, ‘if you work hard, you will be rewarded all the days of your life,’ ‘It’s the early bird catches the worm’, ‘it’s not the winning that is important but the taking part’ and ‘don’t stick your finger in a moving fan blade. It hurts’. This stylish Children’s Educational video is a comprehensive guide for parents and contains important and relevant words of wisdom such as:
This epic film, crosses the boundaries between avant-garde and sheer mysticism. If you like your movies profound and full of meaning, then ‘Cannibal Women Of The Avocado Jungle Of Death’, is just the movie for you.
What The Fuck…?
This film charts the growing rise of the number of women now purchasing vacuum cleaners as the must have household item. Be captivated as women up and down the country, suck, blow and swallow those pesky dust mites, for there is nothing compared to the love between a woman and her Dyson.
This documentary serializes man’s love for all things airborne. Whether it’s the Boeing 747 or a hot air balloon, this film takes us on a journey with all things aeronautic, including a new threat that has taken to the skies. It seems that it’s not just low flying birds that we need to look out for.
As we all know, the recession has taken it’s toll on many and has permeated into all walks of society. This unfortunately, includes the availability of our proffessional and hard working street walkers. So for all those men partial to a bit of in-car relief, why not save money which could be best spent elsewhere, like feeding your family and make your own high class hooker with this, ‘How to’ film.
The mysteries of womankind have long evaded man for many centuries. This film discovers the myth behind the stereotypes that women are gossipers, bad drivers, gold-diggers, love shopping and that often common misplaced conception that:
So there you have it. ♪Nude nuns and dead things and hookers and kittens.
Bimbos, Rugsuckers and Cannibal women.
Black Devil Dolls from hell, Girls that explode.
These are a few of my favourite things.♫