The Lamia-Part Two
a mythical monster supposed to have the body of a woman, and to prey on human beings and suck the blood of children…Obviously they don’t have chocolate in hell.
From out of the mist it rose, the evil of it’s presence filling the air with its sulfuric charge. Lamia. Never before had I sensed such wickedness, or beheld such a malevolent force since Spawn was born. As it stood before us, this daemon that had been thrust up through the gates of hell, Spawn and I withered under it’s blazing stare, a stare that was alight with the fiery red that must surely surround those that burned in the flames of Hades…or cataracts, I mean they looked pretty sore. Our feet planted on the ground, Spawn and I dared not move or run away with fear, for to do so, would have meant that I had nothing to write for this weeks post. Finally, it spoke. It’s voice a guttural sound that permeated throughout our bones…
“Behold, For I am Lamia, keeper of Hell’s gate and devourer of dreams. I have risen form the putrid depth of Hades where I have been sent by the Dark One to flay the skin from your very bones, inch by agonizing inch. I will watch as you drown piteously in your own blood and enjoy the resonance as you choke on the one thing that once gave you life. Soon your pathetic form will play slave to Satan. Your throat will constrict with the agony of ages past and your skin will burn aflame, crackling like the rind of a suckling pig. For I am Lamia and I have come to feast upon your soul!”
“Then I hope for your sake, that you’ve cancelled all your other skin lashing appointments, because with the amount of loose flesh hanging off that woman’s butt alone, it’s gonna take a whole weekend at the least.”
“I mean sometimes I’m like, what’s my motivation for doing this, you know? What drives me to want to drag someone to hell? I mean ‘drag’ is such a dreary word. I prefer something much more antiquated like ‘accompanies’. There’s something very quaint about the sentence ‘accompanies someone to hell.’”
At the sound of Spawn’s amazingly annoying and grating tone, the Lamia turns and takes a few seconds to study him.
“No but I heard she dated him once. She’s got a tramp stamp on her hip that says BC…Before Christ, because before Christ, she dated Moses. And before that, it was one of the three wise men…before they became wise.”
“Baby girl, hell would be a picnic compared to living with that child. He has a wickedness about him that most of us evil spirits can only aspire to. Shit, even I’m scared. You know what? You can serve your punishment here on earth. I’m outta here.”
And just like that, the Lamia had gone. Vanished in a puff of smoke…pretentious son of a bitch.”