A-Z-Challenge: W is for What The Hell?

Follow the trials and tribulations of Lily, a beautiful young woman and the love of her life, Guido an Italian circus midget. Every word of this tale is true, apart from those which are not, which amounts to around 99.99.5% of the story, so er…none of it then…

What The Hell?

julia“Guido…I…I…”

midget“Save it Julia, you have said enough! Who are you to dictate who I should or shouldn’t fall in love with? That is not your decision to make.”

julia“But I…”

midget“Enough! The truth is Julia, I was never in love with you. And you’re right, I did want something more, something more substantial. I wanted to feel that I was alive, rather than merely existing. You were just a distraction until that time came along.”

julia“You…”

midget“No, you’ve said too much already.”

julia“I…”

midget“Woman, are you not tired of the sound of your own voice?”

julia“Wh…”

midget“Seriously, I think that we’ve all heard more than enough.”

julia“ARRRRRRGH! Sod this! I only intended to kill this foolish bitch…”

jessica(whispers quietly to self) “I know you are, but what am I?”

julia“…but now I think that I’m just gonna kill every last one of you mofos.” (turns to Lily) And what are you, five?

grey2“No murder will take place here today, or anywhere else for that matter.”

midget

“What the hell?

jesus“Shit! I’m outta here!”

julia“FATHER!”

jessica“Chief OO-E-Wallawallabingbang!”

grey2“Good Lord! I had hoped to have seen the last of you.”

To be continued…

~Lily

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12 thoughts on “A-Z-Challenge: W is for What The Hell?

  1. I have to say when I started this A to Z thing this year the last thing I thought I would find was a post where a Dwarf, a bearded lady, God, an Alien as well as the heroine of the tale all turn up at the same time. I bet you must have something brilliant up your sleeve for the letter X because I cant think what it could be.

    Well other than of course an X on an old treasure map showing where Guido’s lost family fortune is buried, allowing him to return to his native Italy, when the rest of you work where it is buried for him. Leaving Both Julia and our heroine to ponder the fact they have been jilted by a tiny human cannon ball who having become incredibly wealthy has run off with the true love of his life . . . Henry the dancing seal.

    I know its a simple and silly X option and I will be awaiting to see what you actually come up with I know it will be awesome.

    Like

    • Hahahaha! Mr Z, I think I’ll let you write the X post, as I have absolutely NO IDEA what’s going to happen. Mind you, I might just use that ending, with a few alterations.
      Thanks Mr Z!

      Like

  2. Lily, I say good for that little hero telling off the evil Julia, enough from her already! All she can resort to is Murder everyone?! What the hell is right! Now the alien has shown up and winking Jesus is outta here LOL!! Can’t wait to see what’s next. And what about the clowns…send in the clowns!! (and cue Judy Collins!) 🙂

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    • Heehee, all I need is to add Judy Collins into the mix and people really will be confused. I’ll make sure to send in the clowns tomorrow, not that they’ve been much help so far. And finally, we’ll get to discover the truth about Julia…maybe. Depends how much coffee I’ve had to drink when I sit down to write the next post.

      Liked by 1 person

    • J.L Campbell, I promise you that it makes a little more sense if you read it from the beginning. As it stands, it just reads like a woman in the midst of a breakdown, rambling about randomness… which actually describes me and this blog perfectly.

      Thank you for stopping by a leaving a comment. 🙂

      Like

  3. O Lily. I was exhausted after reading this as i laughed so hard. I spent the day with coffee stains on my shirt (again. PIL aint happy) wandering around saying “Hahaha a fuggin’ alien” closely followed by ” a fuggin’ alien hahaha”. People were crossing the street to avoid me! Thank you so much once again for making my day.

    Like

    • Thanks Mr D. I figured that since not many people are now reading, (as is always the case towards the end of of the challenge) that I may as well stretch my creativity to the limit. I think I may have stretched it too much though, cos I think it’s broken. Sorry about the shirt…again. By the time this is over, I’m gonna owe you a whole new wardrobe!

      And you’re more than welcome. 🙂

      Like

  4. Julia has caused quite the hairy mess! This tale is now officially out of this world (ok, that was a bad one, I should go back to bed)

    Like

    • Have you not read my posts?! That wasn’t any worse that what I’ve written. In fact, it was much more amusing. I think that a lot of people on that Linky list, wished I’d stayed in bed for the whole of April.

      Like

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