A-Z Challenge: U is for Utilizing Cliches

Follow the trials and tribulations of Lily, a beautiful young woman and the love of her life, Guido an Italian circus midget. Every word of this tale is true, apart from those which are not, which amounts to around 99.99.5% of the story, so er…none of it then…

Utilizing Clichés

Outside Julia’s secret lair…

midget“Okay, we’re going to need a plan of action.”

clown1“Well I think it’s imperative that we adhere to the formulaic process that governs the salvaging of  abduction casualties according to both movie and book genres.”

clown4“Eh?”

clown2“What did he say?”

clown1“You know, in most media representations of popular genres, there follows a plan of rule which is administered to.”

clown4“Eh?”

clown2“What did he say?”

midget“He’s talking about utilizing clichés.”

clown1“I already said that!”

clown2“So you mean stuff like, if we’re being shot at, then we should run perpendicular to the hail of bullets being rained down upon us?”

clown1“Exactly!”

clown4“Ah, I get it. So if we’re being chased by the bad guys, then we should never run towards the back door or any other means of escape, and instead, run upstairs or someplace else where there is a risk of being cornered.”

clown1“That’s right. Or if a gun is pointed at one of us, to wrestle it from the grip of the bad guy, but not before making sure to maneuver the gun in an upright position before firing at least one shot into the air. All for dramatic purposes of course. So what do you guys think?”

midget

clown4

clown2

cat2

midget“Really? Are you high?”

clown1“Well actually, yeah, I am.”

midget“Look, we’re not going to do any of that. We’re just gonna go in there, rescue Lily and then get the hell out. Oh look, a ventilation shaft big enough for a human to crawl through. What luck!”

clown1“God, that is SO clichéd.”

To be continued…

~Lily

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17 thoughts on “A-Z Challenge: U is for Utilizing Cliches

  1. Where midgets and clowns are gathered, clichés abound! Lily, the line about adhering to the formulaic process cracked me up! The whole conversation between Guido and the clowns, too funny! And OMG, where’d that cat come from?! Guido’s got a good plan if those clowns can keep up and if that cat doesn’t get in the way LOL!!

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  2. You have made a friend in me… I am laughing and enjoying this romp! thank you!

    Jeremy [Retro]
    AtoZ Challenge Co-Host [2015]

    There’s no earthly way of knowing.
    Which direction we are going!

    HOLLYWOOD NUTS!
    Come Visit: You know you want to know if me or Hollywood… is Nuts?

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  3. I am so glad I can across your blog Lily. Truly marvellous writing that, without fail, cracks me up and makes my day. Thank you. Nymphos, a dwarf, clowns, second rate Hanna Barbera villains and a bearded lady. Utterly bonkers and utterly brilliant!

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    • Oh Gosh! I’m not used to all the compliments that I’ve been getting lately, but I’m smiling furiously at that comment. I honestly don’t know what I’m going to write until I sit in front of the laptop in the morning, so the fact that you’re enjoying my spontaneous ramblings, makes me extremely happy. Thank you Mr D!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Now look here Miss Lily how come a strange story about a dwarf a bearded lady a few clowns, a few villains and life in the circus OK maybe more life in a secret hideout after being kidnapped has gripped the hearts and mind of the masses. There is me writing about the boring life of Victorian inventors inventing stuff and sitting in their rather exclusive club drinking port. And the masses have left on mass. I mean someone has just called your tale brilliant that’s terrible . . . . .AH DAMN no its really good . . . . . . . Anyway I have a master plan that will change everything. . .

    AH OK I am lying about the master plan a bit . . . . . . DAMN

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ah, Mr Z, the views of the public don’t necessarily match the pageviews. But I am more than happy if out of the 4 people that visit, at least one of them likes it. It’s been a strange A-Z, in terms of visits, but you know that already. I read that not many people have had the time to look at the blogs on the list and that may account for…oh who am I kidding? I’m writing about a bearded lady and a circus midget. Who wants to read such madness??
      And your Victorian inventors are far from boring. At least the Lil man and I are enjoying them.

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    • Exactly. Or when a person has a knife in one had and the intended victim struggles with them to get it and it drops to the floor. Why doesn’t the would be murderer just transfer the damn thing into the other hand and stab the bugger?
      What on earth are you doing in a…oh nevermind…

      Like

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