A-Z Challenge: R is for Rescue…er…sort of…

Follow the trials and tribulations of Lily, a beautiful young woman and the love of her life, Guido an Italian circus midget. Every word of this tale is true, apart from those which are not, which amounts to around 99.99.5% of the story, so er…none of it then…

Rescue

Authour: Whilst Lily was being busy getting herself killed…

jessica“Er…we’ve been through this before. I was NOT busy getting myself anything! As the authour and I use the word ‘authour’ very loosely,…

Authour: Well that’s a bit  rude.

jessica“…It is your responsibility what happens to me. Therefore, I was not busy getting myself killed, YOU were busy getting me killed. It’s not like I have some weird ‘To-do’ list:
Bake cookies. ✓
Pick up the dry-cleaning. ✓

Get busy getting myself killed.✓

It’s about time you took responsibility for your own actions and for what you write”.

Authour: Of course, you’re right. I apologise.

jessica“See, this is why you’re a blogging writer and not a writer who blogs.

Authour: “Wow! Bitch much? Anyway, back to the story. While Lily was being held captive by the formidable and slightly insane bearded lady Julia, Guido was back at the circus compound wondering what on earth had become of his lady love.

midget“Oh, so you’ve finally remembered that I exist.”

Authour: Oh don’t you start.

midget“What pray tell, is the point of writing a story featuring an Italian circus midget, only to then omit said Italian circus midget from most of the story-line?”

Authour: Well yes, I see your point and I’m very sorry. But I’m here now, so shall we just crack on?

midget“What’s my motivation?”

Authour: Excuse me?

midget“What’s my motivation for continuing? There’s been no explanations as to what happened to me before or after Lily was kidnapped…”

Authour: I was just getting to that…

midget“I was just ignored. Pushed aside. Forgotten like Eddie Murphy’s once illustrious career…”

Authour: I know. But I…

midget“Dried up and left to fester upon the shelf, like Rene Zellweger’s love life.

Authour: If you would just let me explain…

midget“Used like Kim Kardashian in that sex tape…”

Authour: ALRIGHT!!!! Alright, I get your point. Look, here’s what happened. When Julia sent those henchmen to kidnap Lily, one of them took you by surprise and you were knocked unconscious with a dose of chloroform.

midget“A bit cliched, don’t you think?”

Authour: Extremely. Now shall we go and rescue Lily?

midget“Okay. But let it be known that you suck at this. All this lack of details is the difference between you being a blogging writer and a writer who blogs.”

Authour: God, I hate my life.

To be continued…

~Lily

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21 thoughts on “A-Z Challenge: R is for Rescue…er…sort of…

  1. Lily, I was LMAO reading the conversations here! I seriously love your writing!! I’m betting that Italian circus midget is even hotter when he gets mad!! Guido to the rescue!

    Like

    • Thanks so much Madilyn. I know the reason why my blog isn’t so popular, is that people don’t often get it. I think some find it a bit too wacky…gosh, that’s such an old word. I’m just fortunate and extremely happy that there are a select few who do get and enjoy it. 🙂

      There is nothing hotter than an angry midget. NOTHING!

      Liked by 1 person

    • You are a blogger who is smart enough to avoid the deluge that is the A-Z Challenge.

      Thank you Susan. That means so much coming from somebody whose writing I respect and admire tremendously. 🙂

      Like

    • I think that poor Guido had every right to be angry and upset. I blame the authour. That woman is forever changing the story-line and obviously hasn’t got a clue as to what she’s doing. Maybe she needs to put down that crack-pipe once in a while and concentrate.

      Like

  2. Don’t stop! Having said what I’ve said you and the Monkey Boy have a lot to answer for. I read his stuff before work too. I leave for work looking like Peter Perfect and arrive looking like Pig Pen! But it’s great and all the funny comments make it all worthwhile. Have a smashing day.

    Like

    • Oh I have a special place in my heart for that Monkey Man.
      LOL! Pig Pen. I am SO glad I came across your blog Mr D. You are right up my street. 🙂 No proper post today, due to technical difficulties, meaning I’m about to throw my laptop out the window. So I may just take ‘have a smashing day’ quite literally.

      Have a fantastic day Mr D!

      Like

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