Follow the trials and tribulations of Lily, a beautiful young woman and the love of her life, Guido an Italian circus midget. Every word of this tale is true, apart from those which are not, which amounts to around 99.99.5% of the story, so er…none of it then…
Authour: Whilst Lily was being busy getting herself killed…
Authour: Well that’s a bit rude.
“…It is your responsibility what happens to me. Therefore, I was not busy getting myself killed, YOU were busy getting me killed. It’s not like I have some weird ‘To-do’ list:
Bake cookies. ✓
Pick up the dry-cleaning. ✓
Get busy getting myself killed.✓
It’s about time you took responsibility for your own actions and for what you write”.
Authour: Of course, you’re right. I apologise.
Authour: “Wow! Bitch much? Anyway, back to the story. While Lily was being held captive by the formidable and slightly insane bearded lady Julia, Guido was back at the circus compound wondering what on earth had become of his lady love.
Authour: Oh don’t you start.
Authour: Well yes, I see your point and I’m very sorry. But I’m here now, so shall we just crack on?
Authour: Excuse me?
Authour: I was just getting to that…
Authour: I know. But I…
Authour: If you would just let me explain…
Authour: ALRIGHT!!!! Alright, I get your point. Look, here’s what happened. When Julia sent those henchmen to kidnap Lily, one of them took you by surprise and you were knocked unconscious with a dose of chloroform.
Authour: Extremely. Now shall we go and rescue Lily?
Authour: God, I hate my life.
To be continued…