A-Z Challenge: O is for Oh, It’s You

Follow the trials and tribulations of Lily, a beautiful young woman and the love of her life, Guido an Italian circus midget. Every word of this tale is true, apart from those which are not, which amounts to around 99.99.5% of the story, so er…none of it then…

Oh, it’s you

The glare of a light stole my vision momentarily, as Julia slithered out from the stark brightness of her hiding place. Like the slithery snake that I had always found her to be, the she serpent stalked (ooh an alliteration!) towards me, slithering in a slithery fashion that was quite slithery in it’s nature. The sight of the devilish Viper turned my stomach and left me all a shiver in a shivery manner from the shivering of the shiver that surged throughout my body. This in turn caused me to quiver  like a quivering…okay, so I suck at similes…and metaphors…and descriptive words…and writing in general. Trust me; it’s not something that I’m proud of.

evil

EVIL!

“Oh, it’s you,” I uttered in confusion.  “What the hell is all this about Julia?” I fumed, confusion now giving way to fury. At my question, Julia’s slithering finally came to a stop as she stood before me. Seriously, how long does it take for one to slither across a room? Anyone would think the skank was treading  the catwalk instead of a tiny underground cellar.

evil2

EVIL!

“You think you’re SO clever don’t you?” Sneered the sibilant one, bending so that she could peer intently into my gaze.” “Well I am quite good at Sudoku,” I replied, not knowing when to keep my goddamned big mouth shut. “I believe that takes a certain amount of intelligence.” “SHUT UP!” Hissed the rather bad-mannered ho-bag, spittle dotting her flaxen facial hair. “Eww,” I grimaced, Still not having learned the art of keeping my trap shut. “And besides, the politically correct term that you’re looking for, is ‘can you be quiet please.'”

evil3

EVIL!

And just like that, Julia smiled. It was the kind of smile that villians do in movies when they face away from the camera and smirk when they think that no one is looking. That’s when I realised that things were about to go horribly wrong, well that and the fact that I had been kidnapped, bound and tied to a chair in a cellar. What? It takes me a while to cotton on to things sometimes. “Oh, I am SO going to look forward to killing you,” crooned the hirsute one. “Oh shit,” I croaked in a strangled voice, my weak pelvic floor muscles collapsing under the weight of the my impending doom.

sprouts

BEYOND EVIL!!

To be continued… ~Lily

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20 thoughts on “A-Z Challenge: O is for Oh, It’s You

  1. That wicked bearded snake Julia…”slithering in a slithery fashion that was quite slithery” (good one!!)…is beyond evil indeed! How will you escape her slithery sinister intentions? There’s still two more letters to go before the possibility that “R” will be rescue or run or…!! Will Guido arrive in time? Will the circus leave town? Hang in there, Lily!! And…er…I’m guessing you don’t like Brussels sprouts??!!

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    • Ooh Madilyn, I hate that Julia and she isn’t even real! Might need to make an appointment with my therapist…

      Rescue or run? That is the question. I’ll let you know when I have the answer.
      As for sprouts, like I always say, sprouts were invented by Satan, along with Paris Hilton and the Kardashians.

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  2. AH DAMN Brussels sprouts now they are the work of Satan. I rather liked all that slithering in a slithery fashion and shivering and the like. A paragraph worthy of William Shakespeare himself. although he would do more of . . . Alas poor Yorick Ye Slither well past yonder light in hallowed darkness of King Richard III’s car park. Pray tell is that a traffic Warden I see before thee or be it Witches of fortune I spy . . . . or something like that, I never understood what he was on about really.

    So where is the Guido . . . . he’s rubbish . . . .

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    • Hahaha! Mr Z, you almost had me there! I was thinking, ‘I don’t remember there being a ‘ye slither’ in Hamlet, then I got to the part about the car park. I admit that I find your version much more entertaining.

      I concur about the Devil’s leafy green.
      Oh, and Guido will be arriving shortly, no pun intended.

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    • Haha! Thank you Susan. Ooh Syntax, I’m not much good at those either. I really do suck at descriptions of any kind, so I thought, why hide that fact? Haven’t re-read the post however, I think I shall go back into the literary closet.

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    • Kimberly, her eyes were too full of dark evil to flash.
      Sprouts taste like rubber balls that have been cooked in socks and then flavoured with insoles. Not that I’ve tasted socks, or insoles. The rubber ball however…:)

      Liked by 1 person

        • LOL! Kimberly, I had a thing in my younger days, for tasting objects. My favourites were, the mud from potatoes, (before they came pre-packaged) wallpaper, ceramics, ( I used to lick the underside) and rubber balls. I’m not sure how a therapist would interpret all that. Hmmm, I’ll have to ask him sometime.

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  3. What’s wrong with sprouts?? If you cook them right, they can be quite tasty. It just seems that no one (at least during my childhood and early adulthood) was capable of making them not taste like farts….

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    • I know it’s all in the cooking, but my mum has a tendency to overcook vegetables until they start to resemble some sort of sludgy alien life-form. I blame her entirely for my brussels phobia. Plus they taste like pants.

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  4. Bending so she could peer intently into your gaze…. or into your cleavage rather?
    You sure the Lily writer didn’t mean for Lily the kidnapped one to be partaking in some hanky panky foolishness of 3 strikes and you are out? I re-read this post with the 3 strikes version in my head and … damn!

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    • Where on earth did you get a menage trois from, just from reading that post?? The woman is about to kill Lily! Damn man, you’d get frisky from watching The Muppets! 😛

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