*From two years ago*
Follow the trials and tribulations of Lily, a beautiful young woman and the love of her life, Guido an Italian circus midget. Every word of this tale is true, apart from those which are not, which amounts to around 99.99.5% of the story, so er…none of it then…
Let’s take a commercial break…
HI, I’M A SHOUTY MAN! AND I’M HERE TO TELL YOU ALL ABOUT OUR BRAND NEW STORE!
ARE YOU AN EVIL OVERLORD LOOKING FOR THE LATEST IN DASTARDLY HENCHMEN?
WELL LOOK NO FURTHER!
HERE AT ‘WORLD OF MINIONS,‘ WE HAVE HUNDREDS OF SERVILE MEN ALL UNDER ONE ROOF. AND THEY CAN’T WAIT TO DO YOUR BIDDING.
Need more than one henchman for when the other is attacked and brutally slain for not calling for back up when alerted to an intruder? WELL HERE AT ‘WORLD OF MINIONS’, WE CAN OFFER YOU TWO, YES, THAT’S RIGHT, TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE. NOT ONLY THAT BUT, IF YOU PURCHASE THREE OF OUR UNDERLINGS, THEN WE’LL THROW IN ANOTHER ABSOLUTELY FREE!
Better still, why not buy 4 for the price of 4!
Are you sick and tired of your hatchet man’s inability to hit a moving target at a few paces, even though it is the size of a 6,000 kg African elephant… and walks with the gait of a pensioner…with
arthritis in both hips…and a walking cane? WELL HERE AT ‘WORLD OF MINIONS’, WE CAN SUPPLY THE HENCHMEN OF YOUR CHOICE WITH KNIVES, YES KNIVES FOR THAT ALL THROWING ACTION!
SO WHY NOT JOIN US AT ‘WORLD OF MINIONS’ TODAY AND YOU TOO COULD BE THE PROUD OWNER OF A COMPLETELY USELESS FLUNKY.
Another satisfied customer.
‘WORLD OF MINION!’ Coming to a town near you.
Jingle: ♪If you want somebody killing,
or somebody’s head needs drilling,
Come right down to World Of Minions,
It’s more fun than peeling onions♪
All henchmen and weapons sold separately, not including the special offer of those with knives…although, if they can’t fire at a moving target, lord alone knows what chaos will ensue when given kinives.