A-Z Challenge-J is for Julia

Follow the trials and tribulations of Lily, a beautiful young woman and the love of her life, Guido an Italian circus midget. Every word of this tale is true, apart from those which are not, which amounts to around 99.99.5% of the story, so er…none of it then…

Julia

Evil comes in many guises. Abaddon, Bael, Lucifer, The Kardashians and Paris Hilton to name but a few. But none were as evil as Julia. Where Julia walked, darkness followed and every word that escaped those painted lips of red, hissed forth from her viperous mouth, like the sibilant hiss of a serpent.

The trouble with Julia, was that she was an enchantress. A seductress that was as beautiful as she was evil. Men fell over themselves just to gaze upon the wonder that was her countenance…bitch. Her hair was like woven flax and was flaxen in it’s woviness, which according to spellcheck, is not a real word. Go away spellcheck! Nobody asked for your opinion!!

Anyway, as I was saying, her hair was like straw…no, not dry and prone to fire hazards, but golden in colour. A perfect combination of gold and Aloe-Jojoba shampoo with it’s unique mild cleansing and concentrated PH balance formula, made it shine brightly like diamonds in the sun, which in turn, attracted the attentions of the weak-willed saps, led by their genitals menfolk.

But as beautiful as she was, Julia’s heart housed nothing but cruel intent and what Julia wanted, she always received. And right now, what Julia really wanted, was Guido.

Julia, with flaxen mane of gold.

Julia, with flaxen mane of gold.

Oh sorry, did I forget to mention that Julia was also the circus’ bearded lady?

To be continued…you know that saying “it gets worse before it gets better?” Well that’s a lie, because It really doesn’t get any better than this.

~Lily

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20 thoughts on “A-Z Challenge-J is for Julia

    • It really doesn’t D.
      Next time I announce that I’m taking part in the challenge, you have my permission to bitch-slap my face…with your foot.

      Good to have you commenting once again. Your presence has been missed.

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  1. Lily, how dare Julia set her sights on your Guido!! May she choke on her golden beard and her hair become dry, brittle straw. Such an evil bearded lady enchantress with the soul of a serpent (which is to say no soul at all!). Her hair “flaxen in it’s woviness” great word and image…tell spellcheck it is so a word and a good one!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I know! Woman needs to go and find her own man…man of small stature stealer!

      Hahaha! That will now be my new verbal abuse to throw at people who annoy the hell out of me. ‘May you choke on your golden beard and your hair become dry, brittle straw.’

      As for spell check, I already told it where to go…and the damned thing corrected me!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. nothing that can’t be fixed by a vat of hot oil or possibly hot wax or perhaps both… as for shampoo… I heard pantene is often used by evil temptresses… it must be that glossy glow and rich fullness that makes you want to whip your hair around like Willow Smith!

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    • Is that true about Pantene and evil temptresses? *hides bottle of Pantene in the back of the cabinet* I have heard tales that Angels like to indulge their senses and immerse themselves in the Herbal Essences experience, and that’s why they have soft shiny hair as nature intended…bastards.

      I whipped my hair back and forth as Ms Smith suggested. Had concussion for 3 days.

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      • Ahh best not to use the tears of baby pandas for that youthful look as well.. I hear that is another method that ensnares men into their trap *kicks door closed from secret panda dungeon*… I also followed the advice of young Ms Smith and threw my neck out… had to wear a neck brace for months afterwards

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I have to say you dont see as many bearded ladies as you used to years ago. I guess it just fell out of fashion stuff does much like most of my clothes. As it happens I can see a small chap who gets fired out of a cannon for a living being quite attracted to a bearded Lady.

    Somehow in the back of my mind I have a suspicion all is not going to go well for at least one of you. Does Guido have one of those circus cars that bits fall off. If so you might get an opportunity to say . . . . . . . You are only meant to blow the doors Off. . . . and sing Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

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    • There are still a few bearded ladies around Mr Z. Why I saw two only last week. One was the phlebotomist that performed Spawn’s blood test and the other appears to be living in my mirror.

      Bearded ladies are the Angelina Jolies of the circus world and thus, men are drawn to their evil allure…well, circus men anyway. I have a suspicion that all is not going to go well too, but then I have no clue what the hell is going on and I’m the writer!

      Heehee, that last bit made me laugh.

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    • What?? City women have beards of flaxen woviness (go away spell check!) that shine like diamonds in the sun, where you live? Where is your current residence? The Land of Pharaohs?

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    • LoL! Thank you Pempispalace. 🙂 I’m Lily, a woman on the edge of a nervous breakdown. I mean I’m more on the cusp then the edge. Not that there’s anything wrong with the edge, it’s just not as nice as being on the cusp. Maybe I should try being on the verge of a nervous breakdown instead.
      As for how I got to write like this, I think it’s a combination of the above and my womb fruit Spawn. Both whom are playing havoc with my mental state.

      Like

  4. There IS no better than the bearded lady. She’s soooo pretty!
    I can’t wait to hear all about her!
    P.S.
    This is reminding me of one of my favorite books of all time, “Geek Love.”
    Have you ever?
    If not, YOU SHOULD.
    It’s really a great book.
    But don’t start reading it until this story is complete, we’re dying for MORE!

    Like

    • Joy, you’re not supposed to be interested in that skank! She is thine enemy!!

      Ooh, I just looked up ‘Geek Love’. Oh lord, it sounds amazing, if slightly a bit freaky. Definitely will be reading that, so thanks for the tip. 🙂

      Like

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