Follow the trials and tribulations of Lily, a beautiful young woman and the love of her life, Guido an Italian circus midget. Every word of this tale is true, apart from those which are not, which amounts to around 99.99.5% of the story, so er…none of it then…
Evil comes in many guises. Abaddon, Bael, Lucifer, The Kardashians and Paris Hilton to name but a few. But none were as evil as Julia. Where Julia walked, darkness followed and every word that escaped those painted lips of red, hissed forth from her viperous mouth, like the sibilant hiss of a serpent.
The trouble with Julia, was that she was an enchantress. A seductress that was as beautiful as she was evil. Men fell over themselves just to gaze upon the wonder that was her countenance…bitch. Her hair was like woven flax and was flaxen in it’s woviness, which according to spellcheck, is not a real word. Go away spellcheck! Nobody asked for your opinion!!
Anyway, as I was saying, her hair was like straw…no, not dry and prone to fire hazards, but golden in colour. A perfect combination of gold and Aloe-Jojoba shampoo with it’s unique mild cleansing and concentrated PH balance formula, made it shine brightly like diamonds in the sun, which in turn, attracted the attentions of the
weak-willed saps, led by their genitals menfolk.
But as beautiful as she was, Julia’s heart housed nothing but cruel intent and what Julia wanted, she always received. And right now, what Julia really wanted, was Guido.
Oh sorry, did I forget to mention that Julia was also the circus’ bearded lady?
To be continued…you know that saying “it gets worse before it gets better?” Well that’s a lie, because It really doesn’t get any better than this.