A-Z Challenge-G is for Guido

Follow the trials and tribulations of Lily, a beautiful young woman and the love of her life, Guido an Italian circus midget. Every word of this tale is true, apart from those which are not, which amounts to around 99.99.5% of the story, so er…none of it then…

Guido

kaboom

Went the canon…

whizz

Went the little guy as he hurtled through the air, missed the net and landed directly onto my lap instead…

oof

Came my short and surprised breath as he landed quite heavily on what felt very much like my uterus. Seriously, the guy was heavy…

hello

Uttered the man of small stature,with a lustful gleam in his eyes that I hadn’t seen since that Llama followed me around Chessington Zoo before proclaiming me his wife…

boom

Went my heart as I gazed wantonly into his dilated pupils. Although the boom could have also been a sign of an aortic aneurysm…

hi

I whispered breathlessly, unable to rip my eyes from his tiny, yet perfect features. “I wish I could frame your face,” I continued, “with my thighs.”

love

Replied my little chicken Mcnugget…

oh please

Moaned the soon to be bitch slapped woman, sat behind me.

And that folks, is how I came to meet Guido.

~Lily

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16 thoughts on “A-Z Challenge-G is for Guido

        • Er…maybe you should stick to the cannon idea. I mean I’m no expert on dating. Usually, in order for me to secure a date, I just use a liberal dose of chloroform, a set of handcuffs, some gaffer tape and a van with blacked out windows.

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  1. Guido!!! Ka-boom and smack into your lap, yes! LOL about that bitch slapped lady with no sense of romance and drama. Lily, love the story of how you met that little charmer, Guido!!

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    • Thanks Madilyn, especially as I’ve NO IDEA where I’m going with this story. But at least the tale of my little oompa loompa of love and I, is well under way. Lord have mercy upon us all, for it can only get worse…much worse.

      Liked by 1 person

    • I understood what you meant Mr Z. Still, that sentence could still be misconstrued, so on the naughty step with the rest of the commentators. Seriously, I don’t know what’s going on with you folks lately…

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  2. Looooool… Lily, oh Lilly! I’m worried about you!!
    “I’d like to frame your face with my thighs?!”
    I love that line. Still in stitches here.
    That canon… Hmmm… Symbolism of a pipe of sorts in my twisted mind. Every character up there is high!
    I love it!

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    • Dan, so are my therapists.
      That was my best line and you’re the only one who noticed it!

      No, no symbolism there. It’s just a huge weapon, that when loaded, is then pointed forward/upwards before ejecting it’s contents. So no symbolism as far as I can tell.

      Ooh, a twisted mind. Then we shall get on famously.

      Thank you. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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