A-Z Challenge – D is for Death Defying Dwarf.

Lily 24 Comments

Follow the trials and tribulations of Lily, a beautiful young woman and the love of her life, Guido an Italian circus midget. Every word of this tale is true, apart from those which are not, which amounts to around 99.99.5% of the story, so er…none of it then…

Death Defying Dwarf

Now, I like a dwarf as much as the next girl who’s been outcast, poisoned by her wicked step-mother, and then found dwelling with a bunch of working men of small stature, away from civilization, (seriously Snow White, where’s your moral compass?) but midgets have never been among my list of dateables. That is until I saw the most spectacular sight that my eyes had ever beheld. No, I don’t mean a naked Huge Jackman in the X-Men movie Days Of Future Past, or the van with the blacked out windows that had the sign, ‘Look ladies, free chocolate’, written across it. (strangely enough, they slammed the doors shut and drove away when they saw me approaching) What caught my eye and kept my gaze firmly fixed, was the sight of a huge cannon and nestled within it, ready to be fired, was the smallest and cutest guy that I had ever seen…

Hugh Jackman. Ooh, sorry. How on earth did that picture get in my media file...ahem...

Hugh Jackman.
Ooh, sorry. How on earth did that picture get in my media file…ahem…

To be continued…

~Lily

24 thoughts on “A-Z Challenge – D is for Death Defying Dwarf.”

  3. LMAO at the comment above.
    And I knew there was something about chocolate in there.

    For you to like this midget, I have the feeling he’s pretty well endowed. Just like me… pffft, who am I kidding.

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    • PorkStar, why on earth would I only be attracted to someone because of the size of their Wee Willie Winkie?? You should know that I’m not that shallow. I mean yes, it helps if he has a car too…and his own home…also, a vast amount of wealth…a diamond mine out in the back yard…a Georgian Mansion…a private jet and a few other things. But apart from that, it’s all about the personality.

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      • Oh Lily flower, you’ve misinterpreted my shit. I wasn’t making reference to his John Thomas (lol), although it sounded that way, I was referring to the size of his personality and how nice they are. Unlike me. Get it now? lol

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        • PorkStar, the words ” he’s pretty well endowed”, is not one that I have heard used in the context of being referred to one’s personality. You can’t go around assigning different meanings to words already in existence…Unless you work for the Concise Oxford Dictionary, then in which case, carry on. 😛

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  5. Oh, I want the naked Hugh Jackman…and the free chocolate!! Lily, I’m looking forward to more about that cute death defying dwarf! 🙂

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  6. So far Miss Lily you have done a great job of being good and not frightening off the punters with wild talk of rude things. . . I am very impressed, but then what happens folk turn up and make slightly dodgy comments. I mean what is a quiet middle class chap living in the countryside meant to do. I do hope that the short chap in the cannon knows he is in a cannon otherwise he will be getting a surprise he may not be expecting. . . . . Actually I suspect that is going to happen anyway one way or another . . . . . . . . . . O DAMN now look even my comments are taking a turn for the worse.

    Well done Miss Lily. . . almost half way now. . . . OK I lied about that we are no where near half way and still have over thirty days until we all vote . . .

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    • Thank you Mr Z, though I think my good behaviour may soon be over, the way the story is progressing. I shall however, try to refrain from using naughty words.

      As for folks making slightly dodgy comments, I fear that there is nowt that I can do about that. See, I try to be good and look what happens!

      Hahahaha! I’m just glad that I don’t come from Khmer in Cambodia, where their alphabet has 74 letters! I’d be in an asylum before I was even halfway through!
      Now either you’re mixing up the challenge with the election, the Eurovision song contest, or the next Celebrity Big Brother.

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  7. I like you aside to Snow White. I mean really, isn’t her living situation a bit creepy. One time I saw someone fired out of a cannon. Either very brave or seriously insane.

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    • Thanks Susan. Even as a child I had to question the morals of a woman shacked up with 7 men. As an adult however, I don’t know whether to be suspicious, or extremely jealous.

      I too have seen someone shot out of a cannon and I must admit, the anticipation did make me pee a little in fear.

      Thanks for visiting and commenting. 🙂

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  8. Dear Lily, the word is not exclusive to the oversized package of the midget. As a matter of fact, the Oxford Dictionary says so too. In your head, however, endowed is attached only to the appendage in question. Not surprise there, no surprise. 🙂

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    • PorkStar, the word ‘endowed’ as we all know Sir, means to have a lot of something. So when we use it in the context of a sentence, the meaning though the same, alters the syntax of a particular sentence.

      Example A: That man may look like the back end of a bus, but he is endowed with many good qualities.

      In this sentence, endowed could be taken to mean his characteristic attributes among other things.

      Example B: I have the feeling he’s pretty well endowed. Just like me…

      Now this sentence could be seen as being an innuendo. There is nothing to mark out the claim that the authour is talking about qualities such as personality, or character. Therefore, it is easy to make the assumption that this sentence is not referring to the size of someone’s personality but alluding to something different altogether.
      Good day to you sir. I say GOOD DAY!

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